Don't
by insideimasadrainbow
Summary: Kendall was trapped in the dark until James came as his light and pulled him out into aliveness. Then James moves away, promising to keep in touch with Kendall which he doesn't and Kendall falls back into the dark. That is until Brooke flies them up to their home in L.A where Kendall gets reunited with James. However, it isn't the reunion he pictured. Kames and other pairs.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I said this on my other story so I'll keep this brief for those who don't know. I lost all of my docs, files, and incomplete work to a virus. I had to wipe my computer and start over, and while I do have a flash drive that has old old stories on them, my chapters for Me and my Brothers and other upcoming Kames work is gone. And I'm so sad. There's a slim slim very slim chance that my work might possibly be somewhere but I've looked everywhere on my computer. So until then, here's a story I've been wanting to write for a good 4 years now. I had it typed up on my docs but obviously can't continue with it, so I started over. My other stories will continue once I get back in the spirit of re-writing the chapters. T.T

* * *

Soft feet pattered across the floor as 6 year old Kendall dove onto his bed and hid under the covers. Tears spilled down his puffy cheeks and he hiccuped while wrestling to get safe under his covers. The mental picture of his mama getting smacked tortured his frantic mind. The man who wasn't daddy, the man who Kendall didn't like and would never like. He hit his mama. And all Kendall did was run. His tears didn't let up even as he fell into a fitful sleep.

...

Meeting James was probably the best thing that ever happened to Kendall. Kendall was a small child even for his age and was shy as a ladybug. He always kept to himself, staying busy with pictured books or doodling. The kids often teased him about his looks, like his nose for instance or his bushy eye brows. But he was fine ignoring them like they did to him (except when they teased) but when he met James, he wondered if he was really fine or if it was him accepting the fact that the other kids would never want to play with him.

...

At first Kendall was startled and went into complete lock down mode when the chubby, loud but already very popular James plopped down next to him in the sandbox during recess. Kendall had been minding his business, the other kids' laughter and sounds the background while he drew pictures in the sand. However, when James suddenly appeared, the small blonde wanted to disappear. He stared down at his legs hoping James would leave. But James didn't.

"Why are you always alone? Dontcha get lonely?" James asked him. When he didn't answer, James poked his side. "I asked a question. It's rude to ignore people when they're talking to you." the brunette clarified and Kendall finally looked up at him with his watery emerald eyes.

"S-sorry.." the blonde whispered almost inaudibly, his soft voice cracking. James didn't expect this and hurriedly reached into his pocket to fish out his wrapped pastry.

"Don't cry. Here," James ripped open the plastic wrap and tore half of the sweet treat for Kendall which he offered it to. "This will make you feel better."

Kendall stared at the pastry with wide eyes and James shook it in his face impatiently. Shyly, Kendall gently plucked the treat out of James' hand wondering if the other boy was messing with him. But when James allowed him to take the pastry without a fuss he relaxed. "Thank you." he murmured, remembering his mama's words about please's and thank you's.

"Want to play tag?" James asked and Kendall, who had bitten into his treat, stared at him surprised. James laughed and Kendall deflated quickly, thinking this had been a trick on him but James just reached over and rubbed his soft fingers across Kendall's cheek. "You got crumbs all over here." the chubby boy giggled and Kendall looked down shyly even as James continued to clean his face. "There. Now come on, let's play tag!"

...

They were 8 when the sleep overs began. Kendall always looked forward to staying at the Diamond's house. He got away from the man who hurt his mom and left the cries and screaming behind. He didn't know why his mom chose to stay with the man but Kendall wished she would just leave him already. But what was he supposed to do? He was just a kid.

"How does mac and cheese sound tonight?" Brooke Diamond, James' gorgeous mother, asked the two boy who were in the large living room watching Cars on the flat screen.

James tore his gaze off the screen and looked at his mom with hopeful hazel eyes. "With hot dogs?" he asked and his mother laughed.

"If Kendall likes hot dogs." Brooke replied and Kendall looked over at the sound of his name.

"You like hot dogs don't you?" James asked him and he nodded mutely before looking back at the tv.

Brooke chuckled at the bright look on her son's face and walked back into the kitchen to get started.

...

Kendall probably enjoyed the sleep overs the most due to the fact that he and James shared the bed. Often the blonde curled up on his own in a cold bed with the blankets covering his head. But with James he was curled up against a warm body and had no reason to hide his head to drown out the fighting.

James was always so warm even if he did snore and drool a little. Kendall didn't mind. Not all, especially when he was wrapped up in James' arms like a human teddy bear.

...

It turned out Brooke and Kendall's mom, Jennifer, know each other back from college days. When James and Kendall began their friendship, the two mothers were bound to meet each other at some point, and when they did, the two hugged and squealed like they were in their 20's again. Brooke had gone and started her own cosmetic business which rocketed across the Minnesota regions before becoming a franchise across the states. Jennifer took up teaching like she said she'd always do and the two bonded over coffee while spilling about their lives and success.

When Jennifer was asked about her previous ex who had been her high school and college sweetheart, Brooke was surprised to hear that the two had broken up. When she told that Jennifer had a new boyfriend, Brooke saw the emotion flicker across her friend's face clear as day. It was only a matter of a few days for Brooke to get Jennifer admit she was unhappy with her relationship. It had taken a week for Brooke to realize why and she threatened to kill the guy herself if he touched Jennifer one more time.

...

Years passed by and Kendall's 13th birthday passed by in the crisp air of November. Despite James being popular and the fact that none of the other kids liked that James picked scrawny Kendall over them, the brunette remained faithful at Kendall's side, refusing to leave the blonde for any reason. On Kendall's birthday it was no different. His mom treated him to his favorite restaurant, James and Brooke took him to the movies (though it was just him and James who actually saw the movie), and now he was ending a perfect day in James' bed tired and content.

James exited the bathroom while flickering the light off, and joined his best friend on the bed. Just as he did, Brooke stuck her head through the door. "Good night boys. Kendall, I hope you had a good birthday."

Kendall smiled sweetly. "I really did, thank you Mama Diamond."

Brooke smiled back. "I'm glad. Love you both."

"Love you too." they chorused in sync and watched the door as it closed shut.

...

Everything went down hill when James told him he was moving away. To L.A no less. Apparently Brooke received an amazing deal with her job and was moving her coorporate building up there. James had no idea what hell Kendall will go through if he leaves him. The time came to say good byes came too soon. Jennifer was gripping on Brooke and Kendall was gripping on James.

"I don't want you to go." the blonde whispered brokenly and James tightened his arms around his best friend.

"I don't either but I have to. I'll call you every day. I promise." James replied softly but Kendall shook his head.

"This is unfair." he sniffled, thinking about how in the world would he survive school without James.

Meanwhile, Brooke was whispering to her best friend. "If you ever ever need anything, I will fly you out and you guys can stay with me any time for you want for as long as you need."

"Brooke-"

"I mean it. He may say he loves you and you may say you love him, but you deserve better. And Kendall isn't ignorant. I'm not trying to butt in or anything, I just want you to be careful, okay?"

...

School spiraled down into a dark hell for Kendall just as he predicted. Three months without James was torture because the bullies appeared, but what really hurt Kendall more was that he was _three months without James_. During these months he's received 4 calls and has called James about 180 times. Maybe more. The more time passed by, the less Kendall heard from James. The more time passed by, the more bruises and scars Kendall received. It was when he was 17 that his mother pulled him out of school after a near death experience. Some asshole thought it would be fun to drown the blonde in the school's pool, and almost succeeded had it not been the custodian who walked by after hearing a ruckus.

...

It was at this point that James had suddenly disappeared from his life and Kendall was holding out on his own. Jennifer was still the asshole, even married him and had a daughter from him. Kendall's little half sister Katie was adorable and Kendall thanks God that she inherrited all of his mother's looks and none from the asshole.

...

The screams woke him at 3 in the morning. Kendall blinked as he sat up and froze when he heard a crash from somewhere in the house. Katie's screaming had him flying off the bed and to his door which he practically knocked down in his haste. He went to his baby sister's room and saw that she stand in her crib holding onto the white rails with chubby fingers. Her face was flushed pink and wet from tears and snot.

Another banging sound and his mother's cry came from downstairs and Katie began to fuss some more. "Shh shh it's okay." Kendall rushed over and gently picked up the baby who immediately clung to him. Quietly he made his way back to his room and carefully laid her down on his bed. He bunched up the covers and pillows around her like a nest before giving her his phone. It was a crappy pay on the go one which had no minutes on at the moment so he didn't care. After making sure Katie was safe and pre-occupied, Kendall left the room once more.

...

Jennifer saw red when the man she thought she loved wrapped his beefy hands around her son's throat. Kendall came flying down the stairs and shoved Brian off her who'd been in the middle of stricking her again. "Get away from her!" the blonde growled with a racing heart. Enough was enough already.

That's what Jennifer thought too when she picked up the lamp harshly, the cord ripping off the wall and slammed it over Brian's head. She mustered up all of her pain, hurt, and hate the man caused her and fused into the single blow she landed that knocked the man down. For good messure, Kendall kicked the fallen body away from them and hugged his mother to his chest.

Enough was enough.

...

Brooke received the call at 4 in the morning. She was already up, just getting out of the shower when she answered the phone. "Hello?" the woman froze for a moment before her body sagged with relief. "Of course," she murmured soothingly. "I told you before, didn't I? I'll have a flight ready for you as soon as posible."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thank you guys a lot, really. I'm crappy but I appreciate that some of you still stick with me even though I'm a pain. For the next couple of days I'll be stressing myself out trying to write my research paper that's due in less than a week, that's 7 days, and I haven't even started soooooo. Until I return from the dead, the next chapter might be up a little later. ._.

But I hope you enjoy this one :)

* * *

Brooke kept her word and the Knight family found themselves snug and comfy in a private plane flying out to the Diamonds. Katie was fussing on her mother's lap in the first row while Kendall was curled up in the last row with head phones over his blond head. As much as he was lost in the music, the teen was also lost in his thoughts. Four years had passed since he'd seen his best friend- were they still? Kendall didn't know. James never contacted him again or replied to his letters he sent. Often times Kendall assumed James was just busy with his new school and adjusting to the change. But after awhile Kendall felt he was pestering the other and stopped his letters two years after James moved away.

And now he was just 2 hours away from James. Kendall stared out the crystal clear window and his glossy emerald eyes took in the lavender colored sky and the angel white clouds. What if James forgot about him? About their friendship? About _him?_ Kendall closed his eyes and sighed. It would explain the lack of letters he didn't get. Maybe James found a better batch of friends, or worse, a best friend he replaced Kendall with. Maybe that was why the letters stopped. Maybe that was why James disappeared from his life.

Kendall opened his eyes and jerked upright, a mixture of determination and denial flashing his gel eyes. James wouldn't do that to him, he was _James_! The blond realized how funny he might be looking sitting upright with his messy hair strewn. He sank back down and returned his stare out the window. Well, regardless of anything, he was on his way to James and would get his answers then. He just wished his body would ease up on the frantic nerves he felt.

...

Jennifer was surprised to see Brooke came to pick them up herself. Brooke didn't change a bit over the course of four years. Her face still held her raw beauty, the angle and shape still sharp. Jen knew, by the way her best friend's business suit fit her nice and snug, that Brooke remained her healthy shape. The LAX airport was crazy as usual but Brooke had always managed to draw herself out of the crowd, therefore making it always easy for her to be found _because_ of the way she made herself stick out. Jennifer felt her body sag with relief when her eyes met Brooke's. Brooke smiled brightly at her red haired friend and did not move out of the way for a single person as she made her way over to the Knight family.

Kendall was disappointed and a little relieved that James didn't come with his mom. On the plane he tried to gather his thoughts as much as he could before they finally landed, but coming down the escalator, his chest tightened up when he realized James could be down there waiting for them. In the end it was only Brooke which was perfectly fine with him. He didn't realize how much he missed the woman until she pulled him into her arms and hugged him warmly.

"You've grown up too much," Brooke beamed so brightly at him while she pulled away slightly to study him with twinkling hazel eyes, "God, you were a kid just yesterday! It's so good to see you honey." she hugged him once more and Kendall smiled against her patchoulie scented hair.

"It's really good to see you too," he replied his voice light and sweet. Brooke pulled away and patted his cheek softly before turning her attention to the small girl in Jennifer's arms.

"Ah, and this must be Katie!" Brooke cooed and gently stroked the chubby, pale cheeks. "She looks just like you, thank God." the last bit was muttered but Jennifer heard nonetheless. She laughed and handed Katie over to Brooke's awaiting arms.

"Yes, well." the red head tipped her head to the side and smiled at her daughter and best friend. Already Katie seemed to glow up to Brooke, giving her cheeky smiles and shy, dangerous coos. Brooke melted on the spot and would have stood there all day if it weren't for the man who suddenly appeared at her side.

Jennifer and Kendall stared at the newcomer with stunned eyes. He looked like a secret agent with his grey get up suit and black ear piece, and black tinted sun glasses. "Ma'am," he spoke, his voice deep like grovel. "Your schedule." he stated and Brooke blinked, his voice breaking her out of her Katie-trapped trance.

"Oh yes yes, you're right," the dark haired woman sighed. "Can you please assist with their luggage?" Kendall blinked when his carry on bag and suit case was out of his hands and into the agent man's instead. He blinked again when he saw his mom's in his grasps as well.

"Uh, I can help you if you want..." the blond started but faltered when he found himself staring at his reflection in the man's dark glasses.

"Nonsense." Broke waved her hand before turning around facing the way she had come from. "Peter's a strong boy, he can handle it. Shall we?" the woman swept her hand towards their exit and soon they were piled in Brooke's sleek, snow white Escalade. The agent man, who had a partner, were each in their own black Mustang GT which sandwiched Brooke's vehicle. In no time Kendall found himself viewing the Los Angeles city. Everything seemed big and luxurious. They'd already passed 3 mall strips, the entire of downtown, and exotic hotels. Kendall was currently staring at a men's store, if the display of business suits and photos of gorgeous men modeling the suits were anything to go by, when Brooke said her son's name.

It was like the magician trick after hypnotizing the subject. Like the clap of the hands, James' name always snapped Kendall back to attention. "Could you repeat that Ms. Diamond?"

" 'Ms. Diamond'?" Brooke replied with a sniff. Kendall knew what was coming next despite it being four years since it's happened. Smiling, the blond didn't get a chance to back himself up before Brooke went into her rant. "How many times must we go over this? Call me Mama Diamond or D or even my first name, jeez Kendall! Act like you know me." the woman complained and Kendall laughed.

"Sorry Mama D."

Brooke glanced at her red head friend chuckling beside her in the passenger seat. "You see what four years does to a person?" she teased as she followed the black car in front which turned left. They seemed to be exiting the busy part of the city and delved deep into an almost fortress like town with looming mansions and wide, smooth pavement streets. Trees interlocked each side and rose up and above to the sky, almost like a nature like cage. It was pretty.

"I was saying that James is in school right now which is why he didn't come with me to pick you guys up. I wanted to surprise him so I didn't tell him you were coming." Brooke's hazel pool eyes glanced at Kendall's earthy ones. "Just the other day he was talking about you so he's in for a treat."

Kendall hoped the panic in his eyes didn't show and let out a forced but believable laugh. "Wow, now I definitely can't wait to see his face then."

 _'Really. Will you be happy James? Will you be excited or indifferent?'_

Kendall didn't want to know but soon he found himself taking in the large, well taken care of front yard. The driveway was long and curved into a deep half circle, and in the center a beautiful fountain was in the middle. Stone steps led up to a gorgeous, wrap around porch. The railing was pear white and connected to the thick, cotton blue pillars that gave the porch a high, arched ceiling. Which was polished wood. The front door seemed to be several feet high and a glass window with intricate designs was a few inches above the actual door. The mansion itself was a silver stone color with golden windows that littered the entire front. Thick, pearl white blinds kept the inside of the home hidden but when Brooke ushered them inside, everything came into a breathtaking, beautiful view.

...

Brooke had to part from them after she showed them to their rooms and allowed them to somewhat settle. "I'm so sorry but I've already missed 5 meetings this morning. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask the maids, alright? I've already instructed my butler Obdul to check on you and see that you get everything you need. He's such a kind man, so don't be shy."

Jennifer just waved her hand and smiled warmly. "You've done enough for us already. Go on, I feel bad for making you miss out on work."

Brooke sniffed as she lifted her Michael Kors purse to her shoulder. "Please. I thank you for getting me out of those God horrid meetings. Any who, let Kendall know he has access to any of the media rooms or pool. I'll be back around 6 and James will be home in a few hours." the woman peeled opened her door just as the same agent from the airport was about to knock sharply on the door. Brooke scowled. "Yes yes, I'm coming. Lock the doors Jen!"

Jennifer laughed from behind and leaned into the open doorway as she watched her best friend saunter down the steps. "I will. Get home safe!"

...

Kendall felt out of place in the ginormous room he was in. He tried, out of courtesy and just of his humble personality, tried to pick the smallest room. Brooke figured and offered this room, explaining this was the smallest room in the entire mansion. If this room, which was just about the same size as his entire old house, was the smallest, he could only imagine what the other rooms looked like. But he wasn't complaining, just felt small as he gingerly sat on the edge of the King sized bed. He felt like he was sitting in a picture of a 5 star hotel room, and that to him was something he'd never thought would happen. Technically it hadn't but the room could pass for one, and certainly passed one.

Sighing, the blond flopped backwards on the bed, his back hitting a very soft mattress. He drowned in his thoughts once again and yawned an hour later. Shifting up, he carefully slid off the bed and went to his bag the poor agent had carried up. He got on his knees and unzipped his suit case, and began to move clothes aside trying to find a night shirt despite it being 1 in the afternoon. He hadn't slept since the fight awoke him yesterday and now the sudden tiredness hit him like a semi truck. So, he quickly undressed and threw on the chosen shirt he found before climbing back into the cloud like bed. James wouldn't be home in another hour so Kendall turned his alarm clock on his phone and gave himself forty-five minutes. After placing his small device back on the table beside the bed, Kendall shifted into a comfortable position before closing his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Sorry for the wait! Kind of struggled with this one because there were too many ways I wanted to take it. Not sure I'm completely happy with this one, but I liked how it turned out lol. Kendall sorts out one of his emotions when he finally sees James. :P

* * *

When Kendall stirred awake, his mind was a muddle pool. For the first time in a long time, he felt at ease and peaceful. His mind was empty of thoughts which was a glorious feeling just as sleep was a wonderful thing. The constant thoughts than run through Kendall's mind quite frequently range from stress to anxiety, and apprehension to depression. The numerous times he's had trouble breathing just from his own thoughts was a number too high to count, but when asleep, everything just numbs down.

Kendall propped himself up in bed while rubbing his eyes, feeling the gentle spell ease away when his thoughts came back to life. And just like that, Kendall's short moment of peace vanished. _Crap!_ he thought when he remembered where he was and whipped his head in the direction of his traiterous phone. The alarm he set he must have slept through! Stumbling off the bed, Kendall dashed to his suitcase and tugged out random items of clothing. Was James home? Does James know that he's here?

The blonde shoved long legs in the pant holes and tugged the waist band until it snapped snug against his hips. The more he thought about James, the more antsy he became. Kendall tripped over his legs while straightening out the shirt he just pulled on. He shuffled to the door, threw it open, and almost smacked right into his mother.

"Oh!" Jennifer gasped and put her hand over her chest. Kendall gave a sheepish smile.

"Sorry mom." he apologized but the woman just shook her head with a warm smile.

"It's fine. I was just coming to wake you for dinner but I see you're already up and moving." his mom sounded cheery, she even looked cheery. The clothes she wore on the plane were gone and now she was in a pair of comfy black yoga pants and a plain red shirt that hugged her upper body quite nicely. Her emerald eyes, once dull, now sparkled and her hair was up in a messy burgundy bun. Kendall missed this side of his mom, he hasn't seen it in a lifetime it seems. However, as much as Kendall would've liked to compliment his mother, he was too distracted by the dinner part.

"Dinner? It's dinner time already?" he asked with wide eyes.

His mom laughed. "Yeah, you slept for almost five hours. James wanted to come see you but I told him to give you some rest." Kendall's eyes widened further and he didn't blink when his mom stroked his cheek gently. "You haven't had a good rest in a while, you were starting to look like a ghost. But you're looking much better already so the nap did its magic."

Jennifer moved away from her son and headed towards the stairs. Kendall looked at them and knew somewhere at the bottom of the stairs, somewhere on the first floor James was there. Stairs never looked so menacing before.

"-ey? Honey? Kendall?" his mom called out to him, her eyes shimmering with concern. "Are you okay?"

Kendall nodded and gave a small smile. "Yeah, sorry. Still spacey from the nap."

His mom chuckled before resuming her trek down the stairs. "Well, hurry up because Brooke really went out for us with dinner. She cooked every possible thing imagined I think." Jennifer teased and her son followed her quietly. Now that food was mentioned, he could smell the array of delicious scents mixtured together. His stomach rumbled in anticipitation and his mouth watered up slightly. When was the last time he even ate?

He didn't notice that they reached the first floor until he found himself following his mom down a hallway. The smell of food was stronger here and Kendall saw an open doorway. It was arched high and elegant, and inside the room Kendall could see one part of a long table with chairs. The ceiling glistened with crystal chandliers. Jennifer entered the room first but Kendall slowed his pace down until he was just outside of the doorway. He heard voices, loud and clear, like Brooke's. She was laughing at something and there was another female's voice that he didn't recognize.

"Where is he?" Kendall went rigid still when he heard that deep, husky voice. It was unmistakable that it belonged to James, but it was oh so unfamiliar to Kendall's ears. The husk tone to it, the low bass almost like a growl. It was so masculine and Kendall mentally kicked himself for still harboring feelings for James.

"He was right behind me. Good Lord, Kendall?" his mom's voice chimed in through his thoughts.

Kendall didn't think at all when he finally stepped inside the room, but once he did, and once his eyes immediately locked on to those melted hazel eyes, there was no turning back.

...

James had always been on the chubby side as a kid. Kendall remembers the chipmunk cheeks and pudgy limbs. He loved the way James was but over the years, James transformed into a greek god. That was the first thought of Kendall's when James rose out of his seat like some elegant giant. _Greek god_ Kendall stared at James who was barely recognizable. Gone was the baby fat and chipmunk cheeks. In place were hard muscles, sharp dips and outlines of a ripped, sturdy built. His face had sharpened out and his features darkened. Thick eye brows, thick lashes, and those hazel eyes. It was like looking into a crater of melted caramel. He was tall, standing near 6'3 and broad shouldered. Currently the black v neck shirt he was wearing hugged his muscled frame tight, giving Kendall a very good look of the hidden eight pack underneath.

James crushed any hope that Kendall had of getting over him. And for some reason they angered the blonde. When he was younger he used to imagine this day, of being reunited with James. He imagined them running into each others' arms or James clinging to him while they watched some movies like the good old days. Kendall imagined the swell of excitement he'd feel once he and James were together again, not anger. Hours on the plane wasn't enough time for him to make a plan for when he finally saw James again. The nap that was supposed to be short was to give him time to be ready for James. Because now, standing before his childhood friend whose face was swimming with emotions, was not making Kendall feel any type of happiness. The air around the two crackled intensely and James' eyes took in the stormy emerald ones before him. It felt like it was hard to breathe for Kendall, that the air was thinning out. James smelled good though. Really _really_ good and that pissed Kendall off even more.

When Kendall met his child hood friend halfway he remembered one imagination he had of doing exactly this. However, instead of pulling James in for a kiss like he naive fifteen year old self imagined, Kendall reeled his fist back and socked it to James hard.


End file.
